Through decades of advertising, the phrase “mail order bride” has become a meme. Most memes are harmless and actually facilitate more colorful communication. Some common examples are “shop ’til you drop”, or “clean as being a whistle”, or “talk the talk and walk the walk”, and one more, uh, oh yes, “senior moment.” But the term “mail order bride” carries connotations from a century ago that are will no longer true and which render utilization of the word harmful in today’s world. Discontinued use of the term will result in much happier intercultural marriages via a resetting of expectations.
Nevertheless the term is commonly used including use of its negative connotations; the key one being the concept of buying a woman from the catalog. Further, there are implications, derived from its original application to Asian women, that define the kind of women offered by a catalog.
Although the term had not been invented on the Internet, “mail order brides” has definitely found traction as being a useful and profitable term. It’s a fact that about a hundred years ago there actually were https://mailorderbrides.reviews, wherein a catalog of women’s biographical info and photos may be viewed, selections made, and brides purchased. These first catalogs were for “picture brides” to become joined in marriage to Japanese and Korean labor men who had previously been imported to Hawaii and California during the late 1800’s and early 1900’s.
The image bride phenomenon died out because of modifications in U.S. immigration laws in 1924. Nevertheless the legacy of bridal catalogs lived on. As well as the target market changed from immigrant Japanese and Korean laborers to Caucasian men. The catalogs were focused mainly on Asian women nevertheless they promoted an ages old look at Asian women for being meek, submissive, obedient, and sexually compliant, who, anyway, had great family values.
How this came to be descriptive of Asian women is a mystery. Possibly it was an understanding brought back by Marco Polo on his return from his epic journey towards the Orient. Or perhaps it’s associated with chinese people practice of foot binding women. It’s also likely that the two factors combined with the Japanese geisha girl mystique led to formation in the description.
However this characterization of Asian women started, it “stuck” and was widely promoted in bride catalogs. The catalogs evolved over decades to add slick color graphics and were mass marketed, on newsstands, by paid subscription, and in the end on the Internet.
Thus there exists a stereotypical description in conjunction with the business model of mail order, and the end result is “Mail Order Bride”, a mechanism by which a male could browse a catalog and choose a female who appeals to him. He could supposedly “buy” her and have her perform her wifely duties for him according to his media created expectations.
Through the effectiveness of advertising and mass distribution, a meme has been given that combines a flawed look at women with a real business structure. Bride catalogs are helpful vehicles for individuals for connecting with potential mates. There are many hundreds of them available, both online and in printed form. And mail order is a useful, respectable business structure. There is however no such thing as being a “mail order bride.” You can’t buy a women with the mail. Period.
Another change in the bride catalogs which includes occurred is they are actually increasingly multicultural. Yes there are still many Asian women in the catalogs. But there are also many Latinas. With the breakup from the Soviet Union, there are lots of women of Russian heritage. Since these women are in a catalog, each of them obtain the same derogatory “mail order bride” label slapped upon them.
Actually, it’s becoming almost chic to make use of the term. There are no less than three seriously intentioned Internet articles that known as the English women brought to Jamestown, Virginia in 1619 as “mail order brides.” Perhaps these casual kinds of usage are a natural process whereby the meme gradually loses its negative stigma. It would be nice in the event the commercial interests did their part and quit pushing a 100 years old social poison as a coveted antidote for loneliness.
The term “mail order bride” features a sad history because of factors involved with its origin. Thankfully instances which lead to its creation no longer exist. But precisely what does yet exist is promotion of the term for commercial purposes. This leads to its application in totally inappropriate ways with resultant social harm. It creates resentment and feelings of aykchm for foreign women. Furthermore it improves the difficulty of marital adjustment for intercultural marriages as a result of false expectations going into the relationship.
Foreign women know of this term. But typically, because of language challenges and cultural differences, they know of it only in a literal sense. Their reaction is disgust at their being viewed as a commodity to be bought just like a prostitute. And there is no faster way to learn about the “Russian bear” rather than relate to a Russian woman as though she actually is bought and bought, or by expecting her to get meek or submissive.
False expectations strongly contribute to discord in any relationship. There are more than enough hurdles to work through in building a successful intercultural marriage. Adding to them expectations of behavior according to a demeaning stereotype is a recipe for disaster.
If a man will accept his foreign bride for who she actually is as opposed to exactly what the man wants her to be based on what he’s “heard”, then intercultural marriage can truly be joyous. It’s your choice, men. If you are over a quest for an overseas bride, forget about the “mail order bride” stuff. It’s a loaded term and can pave the way for failure. Rather, stretch to have an enlightened perspective and never label the women inside the catalogs whatsoever. Make reference to them instead as “women searching for husbands.” This will make it easier and more fun to obtain the one you’re searching for; so when she marries you, your life together is going to be a lot more fulfilling.